My battle with the "Whatifs"

"Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk the test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nightmare Whatifs strike again!"
(Shel Silverstein, A Light in the Attic)

I am not unlinke the narritive voice of this poem by Shel Silverstein. I too, have Whatifs that crawl into my ears at night and prance around in my mind. I think we all do. Our Whatifs come in different shapes and sizes... but no matter what the specifics... they try very hard to torment us. "Whatif green hair grows on my chest?" doesn't usually make it past my ear canal and I seldom entertain thoughts like "Whatif my head starts getting smaller?", but I have my own Whatifs. I'm sure you have yours too.... it's pretty easy to identify the Whatifs that we regularly battle. My Whatifs usually involve doubts about my future, my dreams, and the plans that God has for me. Whatif certain dreams are never fulfilled? Whatif life doesn't look the way I always hoped it would? Whatif? Whatif? Whatif?
The thing about Whatifs that make them so dangerous is that when Whatifs crawl into our minds, it's so easy to spend hours entertaining them. Entertaining Whatifs keeps our minds focused on the world of uncertainties... the unknown... the negative possibilities. Whatifs usually bring fear with them.
I spent a great deal of time a couple nights ago listening to the Whatifs that had crawled into my mind. In fact, they were bothering me so much that I found myself writing in my journal, "What if... What if... What if..." I started to think.... well... what if? What if all of these worst case Whatifs come true? How would that change me? How would that change my heart? How would that change my love of my God and my trust in Him? WHAT IF?
I think I won the battle with the Whatifs this time around... although I'm sure they'll come back again. Want to know the secret? Want to know how I killed the Whatifs that night? I killed them with Evenifs. Evenif life doesn't look the way I'd always hoped, Evenif certain dreams are never fulfilled, Evenif I grow green hair on my chest, and Evenif my head gets smaller... EVEN IF all of these things are true... God will still be GOD. No matter what else does or does not happen, no matter what other uncertainties I face... I know with all certainty that God will still be God. EVEN IF.... God will still be GOOD. EVEN IF... God will still be my Father who loves me. IF I know that if God is still God, my Father, and God is still good, then I can still have hope. I can still fight those pesky little Whatifs.